I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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