fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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