We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
