Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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