she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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