absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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