Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
