ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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