So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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