i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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