This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
