i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
