Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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