Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
