Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
