Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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