Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
