Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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