hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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