i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
