I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
