He kissed a someone with a penis
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
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I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
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Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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