So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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