we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
