i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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