we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.