he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING