you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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