Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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