I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
