ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
