apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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