saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
