i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
