I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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