hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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