worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
