Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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