Three words: puerto rican gang bang
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Bring me that man meat
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
