how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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