): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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