what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
