their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
