Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
