Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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