Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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