just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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