me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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