So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
