His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
