I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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