I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
