This is not my ceiling
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
