I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
