Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome