My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS