Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
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My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.