I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
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I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks