i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
