She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize