Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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