I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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