What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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