i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
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my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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