It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
