im drinking this country out of the recession.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
