I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
