no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
