Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
