all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
