Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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