Your mouth is God's brothel.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize