i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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